Parents Who Kidnap Children Exhibit Sociopath Behavior. Some Kids Are Murdered

“Unfortunately, the threat of violence—and death—in these cases is all too real,” said Ashli-Jade Douglas, an FBI analyst in our Violent Crimes Against Children Intelligence Unit who specializes in child abduction matters.  "Most non-custodial parental abductors want retaliation. They feel that if they can’t have the child full time—or any amount of time—then the other parent shouldn’t have the child, either.”

As we put forth our efforts to protect innocent children from the brutal crimes that are associated with parental child abduction, this statement, from the Department of Justice's official website, regarding the threat of violence or death against children, should have society very concerned. The fact is - and the I CARE Foundation has been sharing this for some time: children of international parental child abduction are at risk of murder. Children are put in grave risk at the hands of their abducting parent.  Parental child abductors are willing to break the laws as well as the orders of a court - as well, they have no concern with perjury or contempt.  Parental child abductors kidnap children in order to cause the targeted parent hurt and suffering.

Simply put, the aggressive act of kidnapping - using a child to cause harm - is the reality of parental child abduction.

It is imperative that every social services program, every child welfare organization and every family protective service agency charged with investigating any claims of child abuse carefully analyze any allegations of abuse. Critically, these organizations must carefully scrutinize any claims made by a parent who was previously charged with child abduction, especially if a court determined that parent had committed a criminal act of child kidnapping, or in Hague cases during international parental child abduction that uses a civil procedure for the return of a child despite the federal act of kidnapping being committed, it is imperative that all social service personnel charged with investigating any claims of abuse or neglect made by a child abductor against their previous targeted parent be cautiously examined.  Critically, all social service agencies acting on a complaint against a child made by a parent child abductor must commence their investigation with the hard reality that the child was a victim of kidnapping along with other forms of serious abuse, and carefully review the sociopath tendencies of abductors.As published on the United States Department of State's website, "When non-custodial parents resort to kidnapping, they believe they are acting in the best interests of their children. Although a minority of parental kidnappers may actually save their children by taking them out of the reach of the other parent, the motives of most parents who steal their children are not at all altruistic. Parents find a myriad of reasons or self-justification for stealing a child from another parent Some abductors will find fault with the other parent for nonsensical transgressions; others will steal a child for revenge."

The State Department's report includes, "[A] profile [of] the parent who shows signs of flagrant paranoid beliefs or psychotic delusions. In this situation, the intervention must focus on the child and his or her safety and well-being . . . Unfortunately, the other parent and the child must be informed about a safety plan at all times."  Continuing, the Department of State's report specifically states, "[The] profile [of an international parental child abductor] is the sociopathic personality."

Again, nobody wants to think about a parent killing their child.

However, we must take into heavy consideration the statement by the United States Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP)  concerning the sociopathic behavior of abductors. Grave concern was expressed, "As with paranoid and delusional parents, sociopathic parents are unable to perceive their children as having separate needs or rights. Consequently, they often use their children blatantly as instruments of revenge or punishment or as trophies in their fight with the ex-partner. Hence, the sociopathic parent believes that domestic violence and child abduction can be perpetrated with impunity. Like paranoia, a diagnosis of severe sociopathy is rare (4 percent of the studies’ samples).

Filicide is not a term that I like to talk about, but the reality is, we need to talk about it more.  For those that are not aware, the term filicide refers to the deliberate act of a parent killing his or her own child.  In the United States, hundreds of children are murdered by their parents each and every year. Proportionately, filicide occurs everywhere. It is not a phenomenon isolated within American borders: parents do kill children. And we can't put our head in the sand and think this does not exist.

According to a recent statement released by the FBI, there is a trend that I find incredibly disturbing coming from non-custodial parents - and that is the rate in which they are abducting and threatening to harm their own children... all with the intent of retaliation against the parent who has been given legal custody.


Now, with a large number of American children being born to unwed parents, along with the high rate of marriages ending in divorce, the reality is that there is an increasing number of cases where a single parent is going to have custody of the child. The FBI's statistics show that between the years 2010 and 2012 there was an increase of 41% in child abduction cases that involved custody matters.  So if we add that to the increased number of those parents seeking retaliation through harming their own child - do we need to be concerned?  You bet we do!

In the FBI statement there were some recent cases of filicide that occurred at the hands of non-custodial parents:

• In 2009, a non-custodial mother abducted her 8-month-old son from his custodial father in Texas. She told the father she killed the boy to prevent the father from employing his custodial rights and in retaliation for his alleged involvement with other women.
• In 2011, a 2-year-old girl was abducted by her non-custodial father in California. A week later, both were found dead. The father committed suicide after shooting his daughter.
• In 2012, a non-custodial father in Utah abducted and killed his 7- and 5-year-old sons and then committed suicide. He was angry over not being afforded sole custody of the children.

Ashli-Jade Douglas offers up this advice to help keep children safe:  “Custodial parents should inform schools, after-care facilities, babysitters, and others who may at times be responsible for their children about what custody agreements are in place so that kids are not mistakenly released to non-custodial parents.”

The common misconception that parental abductions are considered a family matter has to end.

Parental child abduction is a serious crime. The act of abduction leads to ongoing forms of abuse toward a child. When a child is abducted they should immediately be considered to be in great danger!

Law enforcement agencies need to act quickly to ensure that these innocent children are not going to be harmed.  The sociopathic behaviors that a kidnapping parent exhibits has them believing in their own mind what they are doing is in the best interest of the child.  When we think again about the fact that many of these cases revolve around revenge or retaliation, you can see it’s not out of the question to have the ultimate revenge be at the expense of the innocent child… with the act of filicide.


This is all very disconcerting, but one thing is for certain:  raising awareness and stewarding the message about the warning signs of international parental child abduction is the key.  This awareness has played a role in reducing the number of reported outbound child kidnapping cases originating in the United States by 15% during the last two consecutive years after nearly 30 years of continued growth.

If I may ask you to please share the warning signs of international abduction – you may very well be getting this information out to a family that needs it… ultimately possibly saving the life of an innocent child.  It is that desire, that is so ingrained in me, that I continue my fight each and every day!

Together we can, and are, making a difference.

- The I CARE Foundation -

CONNIE LEE AND FACSA FOUNDATION LAUNCH SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR AND FILM

SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR AND DOCUMENTARY  PROJECT

Issued by: 
Connie Lee - FACSA Foundation Founding Director
(Tele. 318.540.4464)
(Email: facsasavethechildren@hotmail.com)
(Website: www.facsafoundation.org)

                                                                   

The Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project, at FACSAFoundation.org, is changing the social stigma of child sexual assault, public policies, conducting current research of community needs and assessment, educating communities on prevention and education of child sexual assault, by hosting free conferences with local advocates; filming a documentary on survivors stories across the nation, the latest healing modalities, and the most effective counseling techniques, with the hundred and fifteen cities Shattering The Silence Tour and Documentary Project, at FACSAFoundation.org.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice 1-3 girls, and 16 boys, will be sexually assaulted before their eighteenth birthday. Statistics are from the 10% of reported accounts, for 90% do not tell. They are silenced by the perpetrator with threats to their lives or the lives of their loved ones; who is usually a dad, mom, uncle, trusted neighbor, friend, or community leader. The children remain silent due to fear of retribution from the perpetrator, or losing their only circle of support and love they have ever known, their family. This becomes their way of life until someone steps in and protects them. According to ChildHelp USA, 5 children die a day due to abuse and neglect.

Today is the day we no longer turn away in indifference. Today is the day we tell our children, we have heard their silent cries in the night and we share their pain. People believe it is easy to turn away because you don’t see it. I say, “This is not true, for you see it every day from the angry and volatile society; which shoots up schools, murders and rapes children; where crimes of petty theft receive more sentencing than the rape of a child; where children are sold into indentured servitude, child porn, or into prostitution. What kind of society have we become, where we stand by and allow such atrocities take place, and not raise our voices to change this?

Where is the OUTRAGE?  "Enough Is Enough, We Will Not Be Silent Any Longer!" Join the FACSA Foundation Revolution at FACSAFoundation.org, or any local child advocacy groups!! I pass the baton to you, for you to advocate for our children. The children are counting on you!

 

 

Listen To Connie Lee Speak About the

SHATTERING THE SILENCE TOUR

 

 

Learn More About The

FACSA Foundation and Connie Lee's Incredible Work

 

 

Trinidad and Tobago Acceds to Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects on International Child Abduction

The Republic of Trinadad and Tobago will no longer tolerate international child abduction as it has now formally acceded into signatory status with the United States with resepct to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Parental Child Abduction. 

“Although international child abduction is not a new problem, the incidence of such abductions continues to grow with the ease of international travel, the increase in bi-cultural marriages and the rise in the divorce rate. International child abductions have serious consequences for both the child and the left-behind parent,” began an official statement issued by the Trinadad and Tobago government. “The child is removed, not only from contact with the other parent, but also from his or her home environment and transplanted to a culture with which he or she may have had no prior ties. International abductors move the child to another State with a different legal system, social structure, culture and, often, language. These differences, plus the physical distance generally involved, can make locating, recovering and returning internationally abducted children complex and problematic.”

The statement said that in keeping with the measures outlined in the convention, the 'Civil Child Abduction Authority' has since been established to act as the country's Central Authority in order  “to deal with all matters relating to the civil aspects of international child abduction between Trinidad and Tobago and contracting territories”.

The announcement was made following talks between Trinadad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar and US Vice-President Joe Biden at the Diplomatic Centre, St Ann’s.

The accession, which makes Trinadad and Tobago to become the 69th nation to be accepted by the United States would have happened sooner as the United States expressed interest in partnering with Trinidad and Tobago. However, discussions only began in November 2011 when the head of the central authority was appointed.

According to the International Child Abduction Act, 2008, a Central Authority known as the Civil Child Abduction Authority, was established in the Ministry of the Attorney General to deal with all matters relating to the civil aspects of international child abduction between Trinidad and Tobago and other countries.

Under this authority to date, Trinidad and Tobago has partnered with 48 member states. The accession was confirmed in Cabinet note No. 121 dated May 21, 2013.

In commenting on the accession, Attorney General Anand Ramlogan said, "It is a signal of the continued strengthening of diplomatic relations between the two nations," and continued by emphasized the importance of “protecting the most vulnerable sect within our two societies—children."

The United States Central Authority continues to provide input to the Governments of Japan, Morocco, Russia, Singapore, and Thailand, as each country has drafted implementing legislation for Convention ratification or accession.

United States Central Authority officials have also met with foreign officials from the following countries to discuss IPCA and progress towards joining the Convention including Egypt, Ghana, India, Japan, Jordan, Nicaragua, the Philippines, Russia, Saudi Arabia, and South Korea.

Julie Rosen of the I CARE Foundation commented, "The foundation's attorneys have worked closely with counsel in T and T as well as Anand Ramlogan's office, in providing practical advice on the challenges of international abduction in a way that assists targeted children while also remaining true to the spirit of the procedures required from a Central Authority. This is a big step forward for our friends in the Republic of Trinadad and Tobago, as well as children living in the Caribbean."

Summer Vacations and Child Custody Disputes: International Child Abduction

Peter Thomas Senese - Summer is the time of year when thousands of international abduction schemes will be launched. In many of these plots, the abductor will attempt to have the targeted parent arrested as part of their conspired plan. 

Summer school break represents the time of year when the vast majority of children are internationally abducted by one of their parents. Generally, these abductions occur in marriages or partnerships that have visibly been strained; however, not all kidnapping schemes have high visibility marks that a plot is being planned or underway.  In fact, the reality is the kidnapper does not want the other parent to have any clue or idea about what they're scheming.

I urge you to read Summer Vacations and International Parental Child Abduction as this article will explain in detail various scenarious on how a plot may be directed toward an unsuspecting parent.

In addition, I have provided a second article that specifically addresses how dual citizenship and a scondary passport issued from the expeced taking parent's country of origin may be used to wrongfully remove a child.  Pleae Read Summer International Child Abduction. Dual Citizenship and Two Passports. 

One of the most effective tools American citizens can use to stop child abduction is the Prevent Departrure Program. Certain criteria apply, so please read the article about the Prevent Departure Program and Stopping International Parental Child Abduction. 

Remember, the majority of international paental child abduciton cases occur when their is a brekdown in a multinational marriage or partnership.  When this occurs, often the individual living abroad - may want to return to their country of origin, and do so with their child or children. Knowing that the other parent is not likely to allow them to relocate with the child of the marriage or partnership, that person abducts. Along the way, they will often make false accusations agianst the other parent in order to have a court sanction their act of kidnapping.

In order to learn more aobut abduction, please visit the official website of Chasing The Cyclone and The I CARE Foundation.

International Parental Child Abduction Prevention Cases On The Rise

The SPRING Season Is The Time Of Year When International Parental Child Abductions Are Planned.  Parents in Multi-National Relationships That Are Facing Difficulty Should Be Very Concerned About The Reality of International Child Abduction.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure to discuss with two associates from the United States Department of State's Office of Childrens Issues who I have been working with for some time the increase in parental awareness concerning international child kidnappings. In fact, each of the DOS officials shared that there has been a large increase in abduction prevention cases. 

If you could only imagine the smile that spread across my face hearing their words . . . . though I must say that based upon the I CARE Foundation's own abduction prevention case load, I was fully aware that parents who are at risk of having a child stolen by the other parent are acting.

Now, I wish I could say that the number of successful international parental child abductions (IPCA) worldwide is unilaterally declining, but that is not the case.  However, there is promising news to share: the reported cases of IPCA in the United States has dropped by over 15% per year for two years in a row after sustained 30 year growth (Please read the report). 

This said, I am writing to offer an important reminder that the summer months and school vacations are the primary time of year when children from all around the world are targets for IPCA.  Critically, it is important to remember that the vast majority of IPCA cases are well planned, filled with clever schemes and chicanary, and attempt to through the targeted parent off-guard so that they would not suspect that a planned kidnapping is underway or has occurred until their child is gone. 

Remember, now is the time that parents intending to illegally remove their children from the child's country of habitual residency begin planning their scheme.  

Before I go further, I think it is necessary to point out that the majority of IPCA cases occur in cross-cultural relationships, whereas one parent is born or has close connections to another country other than the country their child was raised in.  Of course, IPCA does not only occur in multi-national relationships; however, it appears that when multi-national relationships fail that have a child attached to it, there exists a higher possibility of IPCA.

There are in fact many signs and signals that can provide you with insight that your spouse or former spouse is intending to abduct with your child. 

Most of all, trust your instincts. If you have reason to believe that your spouse is in the process or is contemplating the abduction of your child, you must not wait: contact your local police and a lawyer familiar with family law and custody matters. 

You may need to file an ex parte (an Emergency without notice filing) motion to the court of jurisdiction where the child lives, seeking court intervention prior to when the abduction or wrongful retention occurs.  Under most laws, the judge will have to hear your application so long as you present enough strong and credible evidence that your spouse or ex spouse is planning to take your child across state or international borders.

The most obvious warning sign is if the other parent communicates in any way that they have intent or a desire to remove the child of the relationship out of the country. In most instances, if the other parent threatens you with the idea that they are going to abduct your child, the fact is that in most cases, the abduction is already planned and may be in progress. You must act!

Peter Thomas Senese's Critically Acclaimed CHASING THE CYCLONE 100% Of Royalties Donated To The I CARE Foundation 

In addition, there has been a new, frightening trend that is causing incredible harm to targeted parents of abduction: the use of false criminal complaints against a targeted parent by a taking parent so that the parent intending to abduct a child can have their target arrested, typically for domestic abuse.  In these growing schemes, the parent intending to illegally remove the child will typically make a false police report on a Friday afternoon, with the hope and expectation that the child's other parent will be arrested and detained throughout the weekend. While that parent is held, the abductor will then leave the country without incident.  And outlandishly, they will portray themselves as liberators fleeing a violent abuser, when in fact, the entire scheme was a lie.  Unfortunately, it is a clever lie because the abductor  has set up an abduction defense under Article 13 of the Hague Convention if in fact the nation they were abducting to was a signatory member of the convention. 

Now, I can't say this enough: the early spring is teh time of year when abduction schemes are planned. Be very mindful that the other parent's full intent is to have you drop down your guard: in order for them to be successful, they must trick you into thinking everything is going well in your relationship. So, for example if you are in a relationship that has been consistently strained, and all of a sudden the child's other parent begins to put some 'curious' effort into making things work - and they soon suggest traveling to their home country with your child during the summer - be extremely concerned that a planned abduciton is well under way. 

Here are a few more things to be very mindful of - and don't take them for granted!

1.       Be aware of the possibility of any abduction. Although there are no foolproof warning signs for abduction risk, some indicators should not be ignored. Do not stick your head in the sand and pretend that your child is not at risk. Awareness of IPCA is critical.

2.       The vast majority of international child abductions occur by a parent who is determined to cause hardship and harm to the other parent. The instrument that they use in order to cause this harm is the child or children of the marriage. A significant number of leading therapist from around the world have stated in numerous reports that revenge is the primary and leading reason why one parent will try to end the other parent’s relationship with their own child. Therefore, if you are involved with a person who has jealous or revengeful tendencies, you must be aware that these characteristics are common in the vast majority of would-be parental child abductors.

3.       If the issues raised in Section 2 are true in your situation and your spouse or former spouse has in the past used the child of your marriage or relationship to cause you harm, pain, and suffering, or, has tried to control and manipulate your actions, then your concern should be magnified ten-fold. If the same individual has family members in another country or has lived in another country and has expressed a desire or threat to move there with your child, your concern should be magnified one-hundred fold.

4.       If there is evidence of previous abductions, disappearances, or threats to abduct the child by your spouse or ex-spouse, these indicators demonstrate that any new abduction threat is real and in more likelihood already planned.

5.       If your spouse or ex-spouse has citizenship in another country and strong emotional or cultural ties to their country of origin.

6.     Unexplainable removal of cash deposits and diminished assets, or unexplainable increases in credit card or bank debt.

7.       Concealment of new credit cards or bank debt.

8.    Concealed, hidden, and abrupt communication with individuals or family members living in a foreign country.

9.     Concealed, hidden, and abrupt communication with a lawyer.

10.    Frequent previous trips with child to a foreign country without other parent.

11.    Family and friends living in a foreign country.

12.    No strong ties to a child's home state.

13.    Strong foreign support network.

14.    No financial reason to stay.

15.    Possible use of the child as a pawn in order to gain access to non-joint assets.

16.    Engaged in planning activities such as quitting job; selling home; terminating lease; closing bank accounts or liquidating assets; hiding or destroying documents; or securing a passport, a birth certificate, or school medical records.

17.    A history of marital instability, lack of cooperation with the other parent, domestic violence, or child abuse.

18.    An announcement of an unexpected trip to another country with the child.

19.    The taking of easily transportable high-valued items such as jewelry upon departing to another country.

20.    Adamant unwillingness to leave the child behind with you while spouse travels to a foreign country.

21.    Shipping of personal items to a foreign country.

22.    A past tendency of your spouse or ex-spouse to relocate and live abroad.

23.    In certain jurisdictions – whereas both parents have a joint-right to custody – it is conceivable that a parent possessing a right of custodial authority over the child (this can be joint or sole custody) can legally remove the child of the marriage/partnership to another country for an undetermined period of time (claiming a holiday or short-term trip) without needing permission or actually informing the other parent if a pre-existing travel agreement is not in place already with the court. Essentially, a parent exercising their right of custody over their child can legally remove the child of the marriage/partnership without permission from the other parent if a court order is not issued previously. 

Not surprisingly, many international parental child abductions occur when one parent takes the child of the marriage to another country for an alleged short ‘family visit’ – however, in reality that person has no intention of ever returning with the child to the place of habitual residency. What typically happens next in these scenarios is that the abducting parent, unknown to the left behind parent, files for a divorce in the country they have abducted to. 

The divorce motion and affidavit filed makes claim to all sorts of cruel and dangerous behavior against the spouse (thus the reason why they are able to file under an ex parte [without notice] motion). Once the divorce law suit is filed, the abducting parent usually will go underground with the assistance of family and/or friends who usually assisted in the planning of this act. It is critical to note that deception is a critical element in these typical scenarios: the left behind parent is left to believe that their partner and child are on a short vacation (typically to visit family of the partner) at the time of their departure. A few days or weeks later, reality sets in with either a phone call or a letter saying that the partner and child/children are not returning, and that a divorce action has been filed. 

So, even if you think you are happily married, it is greatly advised to have a legally binding and court registered travel agreement in place prior to either parent exercising a right of custody is granted permission to leave the country with your child.

24.    Trust your instincts: if something feels wrong, it probably is. And remember that most international parental child abductions are carefully planned and typically involve the help of others.

25. BEWARE that the other parent may be trying to prepare an Article 13 Defense while remaining in the country prior to an abduction. This may include the other parent filing false police reports or social service reports against you.  

REMEMBER that if the international courts have reason to believe that the return of the chlld may put the child in grave danger, they will not order for a return to the country of origin under Article 13. The use of false reporting right prior to an international child abduction is a strong indicator that an abduction is planned.

26. If a parent living as an alien citizen of one country but has limited roots to that country and is intending to travel with the child abroad, the risks of an abduction are great. MORESO, if the parent who is planning to depart, say on a few week vacation, does not have the ability to purchase a return ticket back to the child's country of origin and/or does not have employment and/or does not have housing, then you can bet that upon departure for the so-called 'vacation', that parent is not returning. 

Remember, Intent and Sustainability issues are critical. If a person can't sustain themselves in the country that their child was born, and, they have no deep roots, why in the world would they want to stay?

28. If an alien-parent has deep connections to another country, and has deep connections to that country's senior government officials, there is a clear risk. Recently, I have been advising on a situation where the potential abductor has immediate family members in charge of overseeing a fleet of aircraft owned by a Middle East family (or you could say government). Obviously, access to aircraft and departing under immunity of a foreign government are very concerning.

Please click here for more information on What To Do If An Abduction Is In Progress.

For more information, please visit the I CARE Foundation. 

Please visit the official website of CHASING THE CYCLONE for one of the most comprehensive websites on IPCA as well as information on Peter Thomas Senese's critically acclaimed novel about a father's love for his child. 

Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan: Today's Heroes

A year ago, I had contacted Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan, who operate the delightful parenting - family blog site, 'Marvyn and Mary' and sought their assistance in stewarding the I CARE Foundation's message about the pandemic of international parental child abduction so targeted parents may become educated about the realities of abduction. 

Over the year, Mary and Marvyn have been extremely helpful in stewarding the messages of abduction prevention.  Their assistance has made a sizeable difference in the lives of many, including playing a key role in the recovery of an abducted child.  

Specifically, a young girl was internationally parentally abducted from New Jersey. Her abductor had hatched a clever scheme that included use of flights to Florida, boarding a closed circuit cruise ship (a loophole under the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative) that would stop off in Mexico after visiting several ports-of-call in the Caribbean, debarking in Mexico's Cancun, driving to Mexico City, where the abductor would then fly with the kidnapped child to Brazil.  However, the targeted parent, who had remained in New Jersey, unaware of the scheme of her ex-husband, read Marvyn and Mary's various articles about international parental child abduction and the I CARE Foundation's work.  Immediately, an investigation was launched that quickly uncovered the in-action plan.  And with a lot of effort and a great deal of work, the little girl was removed from the cruise ship and returned to her custodial mother.  Should the child's abductor - her non-custodial father - gotten into Mexico, their passage to Brazil would have been clear.  And sadly, the child's return would have been unlikely since Brazil is generally a non-complying signatory nation of the Hague Convention. 

Mary and Marvyn's willingness to get involved and to advocate for others demonstrates not just good citizenship, but undeniably is a demonstrative building block of excellent parenting.  If it was not for their blog writing and willingness to get involved, at least one child's hatched kidnapping would have been carried out. But it was not because a caring, fun, and intelligent couple with a sense of civic responsibility decided to use their voice and make a difference for children and families in crisis.  

I am pleased to share that Marvyn and Mary Tinitigin are Today's Heroes.  They not only represent what can happen when each of us advocates issues that are geared toward enriching the greater good of others. Indeed, they are my heroes because, with nothing to gain other than the knowledge that they might be able to help others, they got involved.  

Outside of their advocacy with the I CARE Foundation, Marvyn and Mary's blog writing is delightful! Writing and posting as a family - which is awesome - the topics they write about and some of the photographs they share speak to readers around the world. 

It is my honor to share with you my interview with Marvyn and Mary: compassionate, kind, thoughtful, and intelligent Heroes of Today who make the world a better place for all of us. When I think of the words 'human connectivity', I think of my dear friends Marvyn and Mary Tinitigin.

Here is my interview:

1. Your parent blog site ‘Marvyn and Mary’ is an absolute celebration of parenting and partnership. How do you and Marvyn collaborate on topics and issues you share with your readers?

We don’t really have a formal collaboration process. Instead we have a general idea of what our readers want and we stay true to that. We’re pretty loosey-goosey in that regard. - Marvyn

2. Why did you decide to create your parenting blog? 

Marvynandmary.com was originally a venue for us to share our wedding information with attendees. After our wedding, it eventually evolved into a blog. Marvyn has the know-how, so why not? - Mary

Eventually we were getting a lot of feedback on our posts of not-so-common products, so we took it from there.  - Marvyn

3. How has your writing and blog impacted others?

I’m hoping it gives the readers a few minutes of smiles and laughter. Everybody wants to see more of Jagger, right? – Marvyn

I am hoping that they find something in our blog that will help them in whatever they are searching for. Whether it’s laughter, wanting to relate to another parent or in need of help, I hope they find that on our site. - Mary

4. Parenting blog writers partially consist of mothers who have dedicated themselves to the incredible fulltime task of raising a family. What are the benefits for a stay-at-home mother or father who is considering creating a blog or using social media to have their voice heard?

Networking. We wouldn’t be having this discussion if it wasn’t for that, you know? - Marvyn

I am no longer a stay-at-home mom but when I was, I used our blog to just write about things that interest me like the I CARE Foundation. I also used it as something that I could take out my frustration on. - Mary

5. What are some of the fun or interesting aspects of being a well-respected parent blog writer?

You can take pictures of anything. When somebody gives you a dirty look, the instant response is “Don’t worry, it’s for my blog!” –Marvyn

That you can say anything you want and not worry about what people think - Mary

6. The way society obtains and shares information has changed dramatically over a short period of time. How important of a role do parent blog writers have in educating other parents about issues that they may face?

It is very important. When we were expecting, we looked to the web to provide us with answers that we needed and we wanted to do the same. Marvyn wanted to start writing reviews on products we bought in hopes that it would help people decide on whether to buy it or not, especially when it came to baby products.  We were constantly on Babies R Us reading reviews so we thought why not write our experience on our blog?

7. Would you say that a mobilized and united parent blog community has the ability of creating trends, swaying policy, and increasing the elevation of topical issues?

Absoulutely! We as parents have a right to raise our voices because we are fighting for our children’s future. People tend to listen more when raising an issue comes from a parent. They know that we just want to do what is right and want to protect our children – Mary

8. On your blog site’s ‘About Us’ section, you post: ‘Let me write something about us. I promise I will make it entertaining. Come back later, okay?’ So, here is your chance: how about three sentences.

1)

2)

3)….come back later okay? ;)

9. Parent blog writer’s social activism is becoming more visible and influential. What responsibilities do parents have, if any, to become vocal with respect to causes or issues that impact society?

I think parents have such a big responsibility in society. After all, we are raising the future of this country. – Mary

10. How have you used your website to help others, particularly children and families in crisis?

I think your feedback is proof. A perfect example of how our website has helped those in need. –Marvyn

11. You have become visible in your advocacy with the I CARE Foundation to help prevent international child abduction and human trafficking. Why is this important?

Because we want to do anything we can to protect the innocent. It is such a cruel world out there and we want those horrible human beings (if we can even call them that)to know that we are out there, fighting you with everything we have to keep our children safe.  

12. Your blog helped prevent an abduction of a young girl taken from the United States to South America. How did you feel knowing that you made a difference for a targeted family? 

We were completely blown away by the news. There were so many thoughts running through our mind. To unknowingly help someone get their daughter back, how do you find the right words to that? We are just so unbelievably happy that the child was returned. We never expected it would be our blog that would be of assistance to something like this. There are so many options when you Google something and the fact that our blog popped up and helped them, it’s just…WOW. It’s an honor really. It gives us comfort in some way that if something like this happens again, our blog and others like ours is able to provide someone with some assistance.  -Mary

13. Can you name three books that have inspired you? 

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. One of my all time favorite book/movie. I was always a believer in fairy tales (I mean, what girl doesn’t right) and that book gave me a hope at a time that I needed it most. Now this book inspired Marvyn too.  We met when I visited my family here in NJ during Christmas break. I was living in California at that time. He found out that my favorite book/movie is The Notebook. When it was time for me to leave, he wrote me this lovely letter that he made me promise not to read until I got on the plane. He pretty much confessed his love for me and that he really wished we could have met in different circumstances because he would have loved to get to know me better. Well, we all know how that turned out. A happy ending for us both =)  

Another one is a book called Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo. I don’t know how much of the story is actually the truth but it gave me such hope that when it is our time, we are really going to be reunited with the people we love up there.  

And lastly, Chasing the Cyclone, written by my wonderful friend, Peter Thomas Senese,  is another one that inspired me. It’s a story about a father’s love, how he would go to hell and back to get his son back. Reading that book, I never imagined it would introduce us to a great cause but also introduced us to a group of amazing people. 

14. What would you tell other parent blogger writers about their role in using their voice to further social causes about children? 

That, believe us, your voice matters. We never knew when we started writing about the I CARE Foundation that our voice would be heard. You always told us, Peter, that our voices are being heard and it is helping, that we are heroes as well. We had a hard time seeing ourselves as heroes just by writing something important. With the news that we helped someone get their daughter back, we still don’t see ourselves as one. It really is all because of you Peter and the I CARE Foundation. You are the hero because with you and the foundation, we never would have had the chance to help give a voice to it. -Mary

15. Jagger seems to always be smiling, and the affection that is shared with him clearly genuine. What are some of the important aspects or techniques of your and Marvyn’s parenting that you would like to share with others? 

We shower Jagger with hugs and kisses every day. We don’t take our time with him for granted. His happiness means the world to us. Some may say he is spoiled but he gets disciplined too when he acts out.  Marvyn has been chatting with one of his aunts who lives in California lately. It’s been a while since they’ve talked. And he’s shown her pictures and one of her comments was the same thing: he is always smiling and looks very happy. I don’t know what we are doing half that time but obviously we are doing something right, right? I guess one thing I can tell parents out there is to not take life so seriously. Look at life through the eyes of your child every now and again. Also, no matter how hard you feel like you have to work so you can buy your child everything they want, remember that all they really want is your time. The material things are not what is important to them. As long as your child is happy and you’re happy, things will work out for the best. -Mary

16. What are three things that you love to do? 

There are just too many to name! This is hard. But I have to choose right? So here it goes: reading, watch basketball with my boys and shopping!

17. I consider you and Marvyn heroes for you acted unselfishly and came to the aid of the I CARE Foundation when we desperately sought assistance from the parent blog writer community to help raise awareness of abduction. You have posted several articles that have made an impact on the lives of others. How important is it for each of us to find our courage and share our voice?

It is so incredibly important to share our voice. You never know who you will reach. Someone out there is searching for something and your blog may just provide the right answer. Never in a million years would I have thought writing about I CARE Foundation would eventually reach that one person who really needed it. -Mary

18. If there is anything you would like readers to know that we have not covered here, what would that be? 

That Marvyn and Jagger have more shoes than me! 

(End Interview)

Marvyn and Mary Tinitigan demonstrate by act that each of our voices really do matter. They have made a resounding impact on others - something I am sure they will continue to do.  Their son Jaggar is very fortuante, for he has two amazing parents that are connected to enriching the human experience by sharing the wonderments of their life.  

Heroes can be defined by individuals chose to act for the greater good of others.  The heroic act is the defining moment, not necessarily the final act, but the willingness to act.  In Maryvn and Mary's case, they have acted to help others, and have made a difference for others.  And that is more than very cool!

I invite you to visit Marvyn and Mary's website.

- Peter Thomas Senese -